One important lesson I learned almost too late, was that my children had to come before any man. That should be a no-brainer. As a mother, I’m sure we all believe that we shouldn’t have to be told that. But I have to say, that my desire to be with whatever man was in my life, made me make stupid choices. I believed I was putting my children first, and if push came to shove, I would choose my child over any man; but I still made stupid choices in order to be with someone I believed I loved.
This is important, you single moms out there. This is important for every woman who may ever be a single mother for any reason. When you are dating a man, your # 1 priority should be the welfare and happiness of your children. When you are engaged, those priorities may shift a little, but your children still come first. If you are blessed to find a man worthy of becoming a part of your family and you marry, then your husband comes first. But until that day comes, if he is a man of God, he will understand and agree with your choices. A man that you are dating should never, ever be placed over your child. If he forces you to choose, I would suggest that you re-evaluate your choice in men.
As I’ve stressed over and over and over: Go with what you know and not with what you feel. Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?” (New American Standard). Our hearts can get us into so much trouble. We listen to the world say, “Follow your heart.” What we need to listen to is the Holy Spirit reminding us that Jesus says to follow Him.
One more valuable lesson that I learned before it was too late, was that I was forgiven. Once I accepted the forgiveness of Jesus Christ, I went to my children and asked for their forgiveness. I promised them that they would never see another boyfriend spend the night in our home. I promised them that I would set the example and stand by God’s word and no longer condone sex outside of marriage.
I will admit to slipping from that promise about 7 years later, for a few weeks and I crawled back to God with a broken heart filled with repentance after my fall. This time, I healed faster and held a newer resolve to stick with what I believed God wanted for me and was able to live a happy, full life; and when I met my Godly man six years later, I was honest about my past and what I believed. He could have rejected such a woman with a past and I would have understood, but it would not have broken me because I had accepted God’s forgiveness. I do thank God for the man I married and for his leadership and Godly counsel, but I could not have appreciated such a man had I not accepted God’s forgiveness first.
We are women of God. He LOVES us! So if you are in the middle of a relationship that is not worthy of a Godly Woman, pray and make some wise decisions. It may mean breaking your heart, but do the right thing. If you have made mistakes in your past and don’t believe that you are worthy of such a man, then it’s possible that you haven’t accepted the forgiveness that Jesus Christ offers.
Did you know that He prayed for you before you were born? In John 17:20-23, He prays, “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.”
Hold your head high, my sisters. How could anyone doubt such love as from the One Who died for us. You are loved, my sisters! You are SO loved! Now my prayer is that you live like it! #GodlyWomen